Sacrifices and goodbyes…

So I quit my jobs; both of them…

And I decided to focus all my attention on getting good at doing what’s in front of my face. For once I suppose. Yes, this means living on a student budget(again) just as I began to make a little bit more money.
Then again trying to keep up a 60+ hour week indefinitely doesn’t really seem sustainable when you have nothing to work towards.

Thursday was my last shift at a job which I worked full time for 3 years. That evening I felt nostalgic and a little sad to leave, but the more time I spend away from there the more I realize that I haven’t been happy for a while.

I never felt I had much in common with most of the people I worked with. However it was my first real job and I worked very hard to prove myself and establish a working relationship with everyone I came across. The last year I have felt like my manager didn’t want to work with me- and no matter how hard I worked or tried to prove myself, it did not seem to change circumstances.  I felt helpless and lost. What would I contribute to the company? To my team? What would I learn? Why allow the last of our goodwill towards each other to fade? I decided to leave.

I will always be grateful for the opportunity I had, and although there is much I don’t agree with, I learned a lot more at that job than I ever expected. More than hard skills, I learned to talk-to and work-with all kinds of people. I learned patience. I learned to forgive more easily and let go of the things that don’t benefit anyone. But more than anything I learned that I have to love what I do and work at it every minute because there is no other way to excel and enjoy life.

I know too that I can always return, but I really hope to go forward from here and not have to look back.

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